2/30: How I Have Changed in the Past 2 Years

For Future Daughter


2 of 30.

Let me tell you Maera about how I have changed in the past 2 years.

So I got a job on July 2011, when I was 22. It was a milestone in my life as I became a real grown-up. I turned financially independent and moved out of your grandparents’ house. I moved to Balikpapan, a pretty neat and nice city by the sea.

In the past 2 years I’ve worked day and night for living. I’ve learned about real life that had never been taught at school. I’ve made new friends and some of them became a part of my support system. I’ve learned a bit about the ups-and-downs at work. I’ve learned that life isn’t only doing what we love but also loving what we do. I’ve learned that ‘doing the best’ comes from myself and ends up for my own self. I’ve learned to see both of the best and the worst side of people; respect them and respect myself at the same time.

In the past 2 years I’ve changed my mind a lot about what matters and what does not. I’ve learned to see people beyond the kind of music they listen or how many books they read per year. I’ve stopped wanting new clothes every month and new bag every 6 months, although I can afford them. I’ve stopped overrating trends and cool-looking people. I’ve stopped underrating people-who-never-travel-the-world-because-they-start-planning-a-house-installment-very-soon.

In the past 2 years, I’ve had some of my greatest dreams come true. I’ve been called as ‘geologist’ (even though I know it is still a long way to be one). I’ve stepped my feet on the museum I’d been wanted to visit since I was in junior high school. I’ve traveled to Andalusia. The last I would mention (and probably the best one): I’ve found the one that I want to spend my life with.

So, Maera, later in you 20s, don’t be afraid of changes. Don’t be afraid of moving forward and never be afraid of the closed doors because there must be ones being opened.

Do your best and move out of this house.

Love, P.

After a Year

For Future Daughter, Letter


Dear Maera,

This is where this journal was born. This is the office room in Rig Yani, a drilling rig that keeps moving. Unlike a house or hospital of which the coordinates are definite, this place is conceptually different. Unlike those particular city streets we once walked on or the ruins of church we once prayed upon, I’d never be able to take you to this place. It’ll keep moving, and we’ll be kept left behind. For sure, I miss it sometimes. I miss writing before dawn while preparing for the morning marked by rush hour of reporting and chocolate croissant. Before dawn, this journal was born, and I started to write for you.

After a year, things happened and have been happening and are happening. Like Yani, I moved and I always will. Maybe some people would remember me the way I remember them. “She’s the girl that keeps moving.” Maybe some people would wonder whether I still write, to the sea and the sunrise. Maybe, some people miss me as well.

Yours, after a year

PS: This is trivial and maybe I’ve told you about this, but let me tell it once again; Maera is the name of another drilling rig. One day if you ask me, “Where is Maera you used to know now?” Perhaps I wouldn’t know. Like Yani, she keeps moving. Making holes on Earth, making lives for many people. Many people.