Wave of Guilt

There were times when I felt like riding a powerful wave, a wave that went against the current.

But then this wave I was riding was made of guilt; both from remembering and failing to;

and along the way; it got bigger and swallowed me;

until it exploded into myriad tiny drops of loneliness;

and I exploded too

waiting for my time to return;

to become the rain against the city light.

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Is it them? Is it you?

Dear Maera,

I think you should ask yourself first before saying “I miss you”. Because, you know, you change. People change. Places change, age, and grow tired even more each day.

So when you miss people, or places, you probably just miss yourself.

(Your lesser self. Your good old days. Your old playlists.)

But you probably miss them too.

the only thing that we know for sure we’d never lose

What would you say to me
if it were you, there,
if we were 30 centimeters apart
moving slowly, v e r y s  l  o  w   l    y
laughing,

on our future

the only thing that we know for sure
we’d never lose
the only bet that we’d never make

What would you say to me anyway?